Smartbirth.net

The notion that books on childbirth will give you all the answers of how your birth experience will be is very misleading. There are no absolutes in childbirth. The only one is this: you will have a baby. How, when, where, is questionable – and totally up to you.

How: this depends on you, hypnobirthing? Calm Birth? Water Birth? Medicated? Un medicated? Midwife? these are the “how” questions.

Where: Hospital? Birth Center? Home? There are “where” questios.

When: ??? Patience, patience, patience … no one knows, not even the doctors

What’s missing is this and what I believe needs to be cultivated:

Resourceful thinking.

Resourceful thinking is being able to explore all options, all philosophies – not just one, AND be willing to examine your fears. Childbirth is a direct challenge to a woman physically and emotionally: “how will I do this?”, “can I do this?” This is the area that needs the most attention and preparation.

Athletes need to prepare emotionally and physically for an event. No. You can’t practice giving birth! LOL! But you can visualize your inner strength. You can draw upon past challenges and how you survived them. The more you believe in yourself and your abilities, the better prepared you’ll be for birth.

Instead of reading childbirth books, or watching births on TV, read personal success stories, and magazines, content that will build your confidence, that create “can do” attitudes!

Resourceful thinking is about learning a avriety of concepts and using them to meet your needs or assist you in problem solving, or getting motivated, inspired to accomplish something that is challenging.

Childbirth is no different than the ahlete . Childbirth is both physical and emotional. The emotional part – your thinking – is the part that often slows labor down or stops it completely because you are in a “fear” state of mind.

Society has created a “collective psychological fear” of childbirth. Much of it is consumer driven – magazines, TV shows, medications, products, negative birth stories, etc. There are many women though who would like to experience childbirth in their own way.But, fear creeps in with all the negative stories and the negative thinking begins..

So, my answer to this is to strengthen your brain and how you think. Learn new thinking sklls to help build your confidence. Tap into your coping skills. Read positive stories about birth – there are some right here on this network.

Here’s a magazine I love www.successmagazine.com

Fear —–> increased anxiety —-> increased perception of pain

Resourceful Thinking can break this pattern.

Lesly

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There is a lot of confusing information out there regarding labor. The first one I would like to address is – TV and the movies!! Women in labor have been portrayed so unfairly through the years through this medium that the real world actually believes it!

For example, when “Friends” was still on TV, there was an episode where one of the actors had a BREECH delievery. That was pretty interesting simply because you CAN have a vaginal breech birth, but the baby was a least 6 WEEKS OLD! Not to mention the actor was sensationalizing the whole birth experience.

I can’t tell you how many births I have participated in without all the drama.

Does a woman in labor “scream” because she thinks she is expected to? Or can a woman actually birth in a peaceful, calm state of mind. Yes. A woman can birth peacefully.

Yes… there will be some noise, some grunting during pushing, but screaming and yelling? No, that does not have to be.

So, let me ask you- how do you think you’ll behave?

Getting the right information means finding out about the reality of giving birth and what your rights are n choosing HOW to give birth. Very important to get the real facts…

what do you think?

Lesly

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Fear is a powerful thought. I know I have discussed this before, but it needs to be repeated over and over, and over again.

Fear is only a thought and can quickly be erased with a different more productive thought. Women in labor thank they don’t hve the potential to give birth when they really do. Women can tap into an inner strength that comes alive when laboring. Ufortunately, there are s many wonderful birth stories out there that we never hear them. We only hear the scary ones on TV. Or maybe a friend has shared her story that scared you.

Womem telling women scary stories about birth is reinforcing the fear and the belief that you can’t go through labor.

You can.…

* Stop watching the TV shows about birth and remember this- sensationalism sells!

* Stop reading “What To Expect While Expecting” and other similar books. Reality is always different than what you read or see

* Pay attention to your own body, sensations, and relationship with you and your belly

* Read the discussion/blog about “belly” training

* Your body has hormones that kick in to assist your body to give birth – all done WITHOUT your thoughts

* Think GOOD and loving thoughts. I can do this.

Your body knows what to do. It’s your thinking that may get in the way.

Ask and share your thoughts. I, we, are here to help.

Lesly

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Smartbirth – Expecting? Reasons to turn off the TV
Lesly Federici
10/3/09

There are valid reasons to stop watching TV while you’re pregnant. Perhaps difficult to do, but TV can lead to increased stress. Here’s how that happens and what you can do to avoid “implanted” fears about pregnancy, labor and birth.

Recently I watched two TV shows that up until now had been (sorta) favorites. I won’t mention them here, but you may know which ones hey are just by the episodes I am about to share with you.

I have long believed that TV is the worst activity to pursue when you’re pregnant especially, when I experienced the negative effects of it years ago. I was pregnant with my son and watched a horrific story about a pregnant woman who dies in the ER of this medical “entertainment” show. Due in two weeks and scared, I thought “What if that happens to me?” Of course it didn’t. That was just my “implanted” fear rolling along at normal speed. Most pregnant women experience this. Other things happened to me though, but not that. Instead I had a healthy baby boy and no trauma.

The two TV shows I mention above were also “medical” in nature and ran back to back both with horrific pregnancy stories. One where a resident accidently sliced off a newborn’s arm during a caesarean birth and fixed it with plastic surgery and the other (this was really bad) where a psychotic patient “steals” her therapist’s unborn child and runs off with it with the mother close to death. In the end baby is returned to the mother, mother survives, and the psychotic woman is arrested. Whew, what an evening of TV entertainment! Now, how reassuring were those types’ of TV stories to an expectant mother who is already anxious about labor and birth? Not much.

If you’re expecting and reading this article, good! Because I am going to tell you why you shouldn’t watch TV or see any movies about pregnant women while you are pregnant. The first biggest reason is TV shows and movies become successful based on drama, sensationalism, ratings, and what sells, not truth — hat’s it.

I have watched baby shows on TV to see what the stories are like. Very few highlight how great a birth experience can be! Instead they show birthing stories that scare you, “implanting” more fear and increasing your anxiety level. Yes. These stories are true. But for every distressful birth story you watch and hear about, there are thousands of birth stories that are wonderful. These are not heard about as much as they should be. Turning off the TV is easy, reduces stress and anxiety. And, it’s something you can control.

Here’s what you could do instead.

1. If you must know about birthing experiences of other women, find positive stories that build confidence in your own abilities and help create an attitude of “Gee, she did it and it was okay, so can I!”

2. Don’t believe everything you see on TV. Remember, TV is all about shock value, ratings, and what sells. What is happening in your life is the truth. Focus on your pregnancy, birth planning, and your relationship with your partner – that’s real.

3. There is always someone coming up to you to touch your wonderful pregnant belly and then they start to tell you their birth experience. Good or bad, simply and sweetly tell them you don’t want to hear it. Avoid this “implanted” fear as much as possible. There’s nothing worse than another woman, friend, or parent, telling you their perceived horror labor story, or telling you what they think about your birthing plans. Get a tee shirt made that says something like “hands off”, “tell me later”. This puts you in control of what you decide to listen to and it signals others to respect you.

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Blog /article Post
September 30, 2009

Smartbirth – 3 Ways Thoughts Can Influence Your Birth Experience and What You Can Do to Control Them

It is well known now that there is without a scientific doubt a connection between your thoughts, feelings and how your body responds to them physiologically. Your body is actually a “mirror” of how you feel at any given moment f the day.

For example, Body Language is a tool many use to decipher the mood of another person; crossed arms may signal being defensive. Whereas open, relaxed arms may mean a person is “open” to conversation.

The verbal expression of sensing someone’s “vibes” as either – good or bad is indeed a subtle sensing of another’s energy a “reflection” of their personality.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches how to change an emotional state from angry to happy while changing the physiological state at the same time (lowered blood pressure, less tension etc.) just by listening to some upbeat music!

So how can this information be useful to a woman anticipating birth? The following shows you how and may provide insights in how you can control your own thoughts about giving birth, or help someone else.

1. Thoughts can not hurt you physically. They can exacerbate what you think you are physically experiencing. When you experience any physical pain you pay attention to it more. The more you focus your thinking on it, “oh, this hurts …” etc., it will hurt more! The amount of thoughtful attention on pain, the more “painful” it is. What to do? Once you go into labor focus on something else: Touch massage, music, hypnosis, etc. You will immediately experience a shift in perception of pain.

2. Are you experiencing “implanted fear” about birth? This is when you fear birth because other women told you how “painful” it is. Or you watched a horrific birth story on TV, or read a book that scared you about it. Ask yourself: Am I fearful of my birth experience based on someone else’s story? Or, I can trust my own reactions and decisions. In other words, labor does not have to be the “drama” played out on TV, in movies, and in some books. Sensationalism sells. So, please don’t believe everything you see or hear. What to do? STOP watching, reading, and listening to other people’s opinions about birth. Instead – pay attention to yourself your partner, and enjoy your pregnancy.

3. One single negative, anxious, or fearful thought will initiate the stress response in your body. Your body doesn’t care what’s causing your stress. It only knows it must respond physically to keep you from harm or provide the energy you need to protect yourself. For a woman in labor, this is not a good state to be in. What to do? Learn relaxation methods, not for one or two weeks before your due date. But, from day one when you found out you were pregnant!. Why? So you can “train” your body AND mind to relax when you instruct it too. Relaxation is a skill to learn, takes time to perfect, and one that is beneficial to your health for life.

Lesly Federici RN, BA
Smartbirth

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I am a firm believer of relaxation and having an almost “Zen” like attitude about birth. I found this article and the author writes about letting go of control to birth.

The childbirth experience is really about you – not the baby. So, exploring your attitudes and feelings about birth , I think, will help you in coping more with it. Acceptance of the birth prcess is  also important. So read this little article and tell me what you think.

http://birthproject.com/02-web3.pdf

Thinking of you,

Lesly

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Through my years of teaching, I have met many expectant women. I have always wondered why one woman has a more relaxed attitude about birth, and others not. Why some women are more inclined to learn hypnobirthing for example, and others go for an epidural. All is okay as it depends on the woman – her needs and perceptions about birth. So, I came of with “levels of body/mind awareness”

Level 1: These are people in general who are not in touch with their bodies or personal behavior. They respond more to external influences, advice from others, and usually fixated on cell phones, iPads, texting, etc. They look to others, gadgets, medications, or things to solve/fix their challenges, or may even blame others for them. Their “world” is an external one and are unaware of how their body’s health – at any given time or moment, reflects their personal mindset and lifestyle. Expectant women may not be “connected” with their body and baby during pregnancy, fear labor, and want to use medications through the labor process ( which is fine). Because they depend on external things to have all the answers, when it comes to childbirth it can be more challenging because the birth process is an “internal” one that she has to experience physically and emotionally. Many of these women do not believe that relaxation techniques work, and expect labor to be painful.

Level 2: These people are more aware of of themselves – personal behaviors, how their actions may influence outcomes of any given situation. They may dabble in Yoga, hypnosis, or meditation,etc. But don’t take it seriously. They are more inclined to take responsibility for their challenges. They may be proactive in seeking the information they need to solve or enhance a situation. For expectant women, they tend to be more connected with their baby during pregnancy and are usually on the fence about using medications for labor. They may believe relaxation methods work, but are not convinced.

Level 3: These are people who are more in touch with their “internal” being. Meaning they know their thoughts and feelings have a direct impact on their body and lifestyle. They are usually very involved in some kind of personal development, meditation, etc. that brings them to a better understanding and awareness of themselves and how they impact the world around them. They tend to take responsibility for challenges and may ask the question “what can I learn from this?”. Expectant women tend to be more in touch with their sexuality, “connected” with their baby during pregnancy and are in touch with their innate intution, understand how their body works, and trust their abilities. Often these women may have home births, seek midwives, use relaxation methods – hypnosis, meditation, etc. because they believe these techniques will work for them. They usually want to have an unmedicated birth experience.

Almost everyone has a cell phone! LOL!

I think there are levels of body/mind awareness and one can always shift into another level but what they are exposed to, or if and how their beliefs and attitudes change.

What do you think?

Lesly

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Stinking thinking … we all do it. It’s called self-talk. It is those thoughts you play over and over in your head when a challenge pops up – career, life ambitions, relationships with other, personal talents, even anticipating childbirth and parenting.

From experience I know what I focus on will happen. I also know distorted perceptions and “beliefs” (what we think is true in the world) is never reality.

For example, if a woman comes up to you and tells you how painful her labor was, and in fact you hear many stories like this – from your friends, co-workers, you start to
b-e-l-i-e-v-e it because that’s ALL you hear. And then you see a TV show of a woman screaming in labor and that just reinforces your beliief and fear this will happen to you. Now you fear the experience.

But then you hear of a woman who had the most incredible birth! It was manageable, she LOVED pushing (a client of mine told me that), she experienced little discomfort during the contractions. It was great. How can that be? We immediately think something is wrong with this story. Labor is SUPPOSED to be painful with lots of suffering. Not true. And just because this message has passed down through generations from our mothers (not all of them of course), it MUST be true! Not so. Our culture in the US has projected this to be true because the media, people, , etc., portray it this way. Not true There are more positive stories out there that we never hear because we believe and focus on the negative.

Childbirth is all about you and how you perceive it. Do an attitude check. Is what you’re feeling truefor you? Do you REALLY believe what you hear? Or is it an influence from somewhere else.

The ACTIONS you take are a reflection of what you believe in and think about yourself in all aspects of your life – even birth.

I like feeling grateful that I had the opportunity to have a child. Feeling grateful creates a sense of peace and serenity. Gratefulness may help to lead to a fearless experience. But you have to find and believe it within yourself.

What do you think?
Thinking of you,
Lesly

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Let’s think about what this video is saying. When we THINK we are winning, developing a “can do” attitude, chemical reactions occur in the body to support our winning thoughts. Yet the THOUGHTS of loss, losing, giving up can change things in an instant and so do the innate chemical reactions in our bodies that reflect the losing attitude.

Here we have a boxing match which is physical and painful. Childbirth is physical and “painful”. Could that moment of THINKING “I can do this” be the trigger to see your birth experience through to the finish line – the golal being your baby? Because your body boosts the innate chemicals you need to support success? Could the slightest THOUGHTof doubt trigger the need to use medications for pain releif because the innate chemicals boosting success have diminished? Interesting.

This tells me how important your thinking is during pregnancy and birth. If you fear the experience your body will respond, you’ll feel more discomfort, experience more stress, etc. If you develop a “Birth Mindset” prepare your mind for a “winning, can do” attitude, your birth experience could be very different.

The human body is amazing and we forget how aazing it is. Your body is so ready and biologically programmed for birth along with hundreds of other physiological processes we aren’t even aware of!

That’s why, learning relaxation skills are so, so, very important.

I am eager to hear what you think!

Lesly

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