Because I Can

Lesly — Fri, 21 May 2010 11:56:05 +0000

The story goes something like this …

For years a young daughter watched her mother prepare dinner for the family. This night the mother was cooking a roast and cut the tail end of it completely off and tossed in the garbage. Out of curiosity, the daughter asked a few years later “why do you do that mom? Cut off the end of the roast and toss it in the garbage?”

“Because …” her mother began. “it doesn’t fit in the pot to cook it!” “Hm…” the daughter though. In a way it made sense, but what a waste of the rest of the roast.

The daughter grew up and was a good cook just like her mother. When it came to cooking a roast, she did exactly the same thing that her mother did – cut off the end so it would fit in the pot. She did what she learned by watching, listening, and following… The daughter cooked the way it had always been done in her family.

One holiday, the daughter’s family went to her mother’s house to celebrate. Her mother was cooking a roast. As usual the daughter was in the kitchen helping her mother cook. But this time she did not cut of the end and toss it in the garbage. Instead she placed it in a larger shallow pan that she had always had. Perplexed, the daughter was confused about this new method. She had always cooked the roast the same way for years the way her mother did. So she asked her mother ..

“Mon, that’s not the way we cook our roasts! Why have you changed the method?”

The mother turned to her daughter and said lovingly, “Because I can …”

How often have we just accepted a certain way to do things, never questioning if there was a different or better way of doing it because that’s the way it’s always been done? How often have we been “stuck” in doing the same thing over and over again? How often have we stopped the status quo to challenge ourselves, to do more – breaking the routine for something better?

Because I Can

Attitudes and Beliefs Influence the Birth Experience

Lesly — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 22:44:53 +0000

When a woman thinks about having a baby often the initial thought is “how am I going to do this!” or “HOW is it going to come out of my body!” Amazingly, it’s usually not the mother’s body that has a problem, it’s how and what she’s thinking about that matters most.

Labor is physical and emotional. That’s for sure. But how a woman chooses to respond to it makes ALL the difference and will absolutely influence her birth experience. A laboring woman can choose her mindset. But first, she needs to be aware of her own “birth talents” first and way before the “birth” day of her baby.

What are “birth talents”? These are individual expressions of attitudes, behaviors, and innate physiological processes that are unique to the mother and are present during pregnancy and birth.

Attitudes:

Attitudes are beliefs a person has about themselves, interests, certain topics, life events and experiences. For example, maybe an expectant mom thinks the birth process is messy and as a result may not want to touch or hold her newborn because it’s covered with amniotic fluid. Or, a new mother doesn’t want to breastfeed because she believes it’s unattractive and a “turn-off” for her partner. Yet another mother is elated over her waterbirth experience in her home. Attitudes and beliefs define behaviors.

Behaviors:

Behaviors are learned. They are shaped by family, social, religious, and cultural opinions and beliefs. Behaviors reflect personal beliefs as well. Individual actions reinforce learned behaviors and attitudes. For example, childbirth is portrayed as a dramatic, painful experience on TV, and in movies. Even in cartoons the events surrounding having a baby are exaggerated for children. Little girls learn to fear childbirth. This specific fear will be dormant until she is confronted with pregnancy and an anticipated birth event.

Physiology:

Hormones are “Generals” telling certain parts of the male or female human body what to do. For example, during pregnancy there is a hormone called Relaxin which actually relaxes the ligaments and tendons in the body to facilitate the birth process. The process or “mechanics” of birth belongs to the human body and will do what it needs to in its own time – not what the mind thinks it should do. Yet innate intuition and instinct play an important role during pregnancy and the birthing process.

What are your attitudes and beliefs about birth? To help you discover them ask yourself these questions:

What did your mother, or other female family members say about their birth experiences? Did their stories influence you in any way?
What are your friends saying about birth? Do you agree?
What do you personally think about birth and where did that opinion come from? How did it develop?
What does your partner think?
What do you think of your own abilities to birth and where did these attitudes come from.
What words do you use to describe your pregnancy and how do you respond when you hear them?
If you have fears about birth, where do they come from?
Are your opinions based on those from others? Or are they your own.

It’s important to recognize that your attitudes and beliefs do have an impact on your pregnancy and birth experience. Use this time, your nine months, to evaluate what’s Important and meaningful to you. Say “Thanks, but no thanks” to all the rest.

Lesly

Attitudes and Beliefs Influence the Birth Experience

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Because I Can

Attitudes and Beliefs Influence the Birth Experience